I have a new job, a contract job working for Earth Networks, actually working for my son Mike. (He’s a physicist.) My current assignment is to create a contour map showing detector error from a stream of data. After writing javascript for five years, I now need to learn to write C#, use the .NET framework, create sql queries, and serve web pages. Although my past experience allows me to learn quickly, I feel barely competent doing this work. That got me to thinking about competence as it relates to my past jobs.
Edgenuity c. 2010 – 2015
Rating: Extremely competent – Every day I was sure of two things: 1) I knew what I was doing and how to do it; 2) No one could do it better. I loved this job. Looked forward to working every new day. I was sure the people with whom I worked valued my contributions. Until they deleted me.
Teaching Jobs c. 1998 – 2015
Rating: Shitso, as in schizomaniac – On any given day, I was as good I did that day; no, as good as I did with my last student of that day. Some days I came home depressed, thinking I had no clue how to reach the kiddos. Other days I came home at the top of the world, thinking I was great and powerful.
Microsoft c. 1981 – 1994
Rating: Shitso – . Most days I felt utterly unqualified. Worse, I was terrified that others would realize I was a complete idiot. Some days, not many, I thought I was a god. Actually, I still remember the day one of my bosses told me he thought I was a god. Steve Ballmer didn’t think I was a god, but he thought I was good enough that he gave me an award one year, a 10K bonus another year, and two leaves of absence when I could do whatever I wanted and then come back.
Oh, also, I met an old friend at a reunion a couple years ago. Good friend. He said – he was so glad I was there, he wanted to tell me that everything he ever learned about management he learned from me. That was 20 years ago. Since then he became a vice president. I became a teacher.
Wang c. 1979 – 1981
Rating: Competent – My first computer job, first day, my boss Geoff said nice things to me. Maybe a half year later, I overheard him grumbling to some other dude that I was underdressed for some occasion. About six months later, he thought I was, well not a god, but maybe a godsend. I thought I was hot shit until I got to Microsoft and everyone else was smarter.